I found this article a few years back and I remember the impact it gave me. I know that the title of this blog may seem a bit confusing so I’m attempting to explain. Having panic attacks and having the intense fear of suddenly dying, and then having a subsequent epiphany that I am in fact living, I can identify with what this article explains. In the moments after they jump is when they realise how much they want to live. I can understand in many ways because my difficulties with panic attacks and anxiety have made me harbor both feelings of appreciation and devastation with life. I am grateful for life when I survive the feeling like I am dying, on the other hand that sensation makes life difficult to enjoy. So before I theoretically jumped off the ledge of life (not in the nature of the acts like this article, but more in a general giving up or giving in to my fears of living) but after the fact I’ve already fallen in good and tragic ways due to panic. This has made me want to live more than anything. Anxiety pushes me to find happiness in the basic level of human joy I can find. to be stable and safe.
I share this knowing some will judge me for opening up, but I would rather share my journey and let someone know they are not alone because that matters the most to me.
I hope that it explains why I’m so determined and why I titled a baking blog such.
Before the jump, after the fall 